Global Child Protection Parenting Curriculum

Year 2, Lesson 11: A Maintained and Healthy Garden: Overview of Social Media—Keeping Children Safe in a Digital World

Time Needed: 55 minutes

Garden Images:

Index

Teacher Preparation

Introduction

New Ideas

Story

Caregiver Connection

Application/Activity

Reflection

Closing

Teacher Preparation

Objectives

The caregiver will be able to:

• Hear a story about how evil’s presence in our world sometimes works through social media and the digital world.
• List common dangers to children (body, mind, heart) that social media presents in the community.
• Explain how children feeling shame and blame often turn to social media for acceptance and how loving affirmation at home is a form of prevention.
• Explore practical ways to protect children from the dangers of social media.

Materials

• Notebook
• Chalkboard and chalk
• Large tub
• Bag with holes, such as burlap or jute
• Pitcher filled with water
• Towel or cloth for drying hands

Preparation

• Read the lesson and reflect on how to teach it wisely.
• Skim previous lesson. Prepare to have a quick review at the beginning of class.
• You will conduct a demonstration in the New Ideas section. In it, you will pour water into a bag and tell a volunteer to stop any water from coming through the bag. For the purpose of the demonstration, however, water needs to leak through the bag. Choose a bag that water will leak through, such as jute or burlap. You could also use a plastic bag with many holes cut into it (but it will then not be a very useful bag!). In order to not damage the area or let the volunteer get very wet, pour the water into the bag over a large tub to catch the water. Afterwards, you can use this water in a nearby garden or someplace similar.
• During the Activity section, parents will discuss actions to keep children safe in a digital world. They will discuss one action per small group. Have these actions written on small pieces of paper before class. For your convenience, they are listed at the end of the lesson.

Introduction

5 minutes

Imagine that one day you walk into your house and notice a small sprout growing through a crack in the wall! You don’t understand how it is growing there. You are unsure what to do. Of course, you could pull it out, but what if you don’t get all the roots? And, what if there is a major crack left open in the wall that you would then need to address? You decide to ignore it since you don’t know what to do immediately.

You continue to ignore the plant. It grows taller and stronger every day. Eventually, you walk into your house and realize there is a tree in the middle of it!

This extreme example will probably never happen. But it shows what can happen when you ignore an issue that you do not know how to address. This is how parents commonly respond when they navigate the digital world with their children. Most are so overwhelmed by this new world of technology and social media that they often choose to ignore it. It is easy to ignore issues when we don’t know exactly what to do. When we do this, though, the issues can grow bigger, just like a tree growing right in the middle of a house.

Today we are going to discuss the importance of addressing concerns of the digital world. We will talk about the greatest dangers to our children, and we will also discuss practical ways to help our children avoid harm from technology.

New Ideas

20 minutes

Share with a partner sitting next to you a response to this question: What is your favorite invention in our world? Why? It can be anything from a farming tool, a delicious food, or a car. Give the participants a few moments to share with one another. Then invite some participants to share with the whole class

The inventions that humans have created can be truly amazing, can’t they? However, let’s think now about what happens when we love a human creation too much. For example, what happens if you love sweets so much that you eat them all the time? Accept answers. Your body might grow overweight or underweight from poor nutrition; your health grows bad from lack of healthy food, etc.

What happens if you love something like money too much? Accept answers. You might grow greedy and selfish, failing to show hospitality; you might act unethically and deceive others just to get money; it can hurt a family or marriage if money is more important than love, etc.

When we love something to excess, particularly something that we have made ourselves (like technology), we end up worshipping it and this desire leads to destruction. The Bible tells a story about how humans began building the Tower of Babel, a powerful human-made creation designed to protect them. But God responded in this way:

Genesis 11:5-9

5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. 6 He said, “All these people are united and speak the same language. That is why they can do all this. Now they will be able to do anything they plan. 7 Come on! Let us go down and mix up their language. Then they will not be able to understand one other.”

8 So the Lord scattered them from there over the whole earth. And they stopped building the city. 9 There the Lord mixed up the language of the whole world. That’s why the city was called Babel. From there the Lord scattered them over the whole earth.

• In verse 6, God says that only having one language on earth allowed to people to do anything they plan, such as the great tower. Why is it a problem for people to be able to do anything they plan? Accept answers. Explore together how people often have evil ideas and this capacity is dangerous.
• How did God solve the problem? He created many languages and scattered people over the earth, so they could not finish the tower.

This story might not on the surface seem to relate to digital technology, but new technologies resemble the problem with the Tower of Babel. They allow us to accomplish almost anything we wish. When we love and trust technology above all else and do not temper our use, it can lead to destruction.

Ask the following question:

• What is the difference between digital technology and social media? Accept all responses. Help parents understand that digital technology includes any anything that can be accessed or used on the internet. Social media is narrower; it involves specific websites whose purpose is for people to connect online.

Story

Now you will hear a modern story about how evil and personal destruction can come through social media and the digital world.:

Story

Karvind walks into his small house. He removes his shoes and washes his hands. He greets his parents and uncle. No one says anything in return, though his uncle nods. Karvind is home slightly early today and is relieved to see his father is still quiet. Almost every evening, as the hours progress, his father gets more and more angry, enhanced by his drug addiction. His uncle leaves the house and his thin, haggard mother tries to make herself disappear to avoid rough beatings. She is rarely successful.

This leaves Karvind to fend for himself. He is not beaten like his mother, but he also does not disappear like his uncle out of concern for his mother. All the adults in his house ignore him, just trying to get through another day.

For the last year, Karvind has found refuge from the pain in his life through social media. His multiple accounts on different platforms, such as Facebook, help him connect with people from all over the world. It also helps him feel like he belongs. The pictures he posts and the things he says get many “likes” and much approval. Karvind doesn’t even use his own pictures. He just finds others’ pictures and posts them. In his online “world” Karvind is outgoing and confident and flirtatious. Many people write him, asking for attention, sexual pictures, and money. He sends the pictures; though his accounts show fake information, his private pictures are real because he is careful to never reveal his face. He does not, however, send money. Karvind often worries about his true identity being found and someone forcing money from him.

This is all possible because of the family smart phone. He originally convinced his parents, thanks to help from his uncle, that he needed a smart phone for his studies. He still uses it for school work, but most of his time is dedicated to social media and showing off his body for anyone who cares.

• What happened to Karvind? Accept answers, which might include he feels ignored at home and has become attached to attention on social media.
• How did evil work through social media in the story? Karvind lives in a false world; he posts false depictions of his life and lies about himself. In contrast, the sexual pictures he sends are not false. He is exposing himself in harmful ways. Many people demand money from him.
• Should Karvind’s family have not allowed any social media in his life? Accept all responses.

One form of ignoring something is to completely forbid it and many respond this way. When an issue, such as technology, is so large, unknown and possibly dangerous, it tempts us to ignore or forbid it. However, this invites people to hide technology use or feel ashamed. Instead, it is much better to acknowledge social media’s influence in our lives and help our children learn how to use it in a healthy manner. Technology’s influence will only increase and we must be prepared to face it.

We must first understand what is involved in technology. It is a helpful tool, but it can present dangers. What are common dangers to children through social media present in the community? We can divide the main dangers into 3 categories.

Write the main words on the board as you say them:

• Content
• Contact 
• Conduct

Explain each of these categories with the simple explanation below. As you explain it, draw the specified picture next to the word. This is helpful to remember each of these categories.

• Content dangers: exposure to inappropriate content, such as sexual or violent content.
  • This is mostly what is seen on the internet and includes inappropriate images or movies. Draw eyes on the board next to “Content”.
  • Content dangers are harmful to children’s development because seeing shocking sexual or violent images can impact their behavior negatively. Content dangers can also desensitize children so they begin to believe this behavior is acceptable.

• Contact dangers: participation in risky communication for the purposes of solicitation or to radicalize the child.
  • This mostly involves others’ communication with the user, such as a child. Draw a mouth on the board next to “Contact”.
  • Contact dangers include someone (usually an adult) trying to convince the child of unhealthy ideas—such as radical and violent actions—or asking for inappropriate pictures or services. This is a common way human traffickers trick children and parents. Contact dangers can also include others trying to learn private information; total strangers could gain access to your child.

• Conduct dangers: behavior that contributes to harmful practices, such as bullying or racial discrimination.
  • This is mostly about the user’s—your child’s—behavior or actions. Draw a hand on the board next to “Conduct”. This could symbolize a hand that hurts others, or, in this case, a hand that types out horrible things.
  • A child might participate in or be affected by cyberbullying: harming others through bullying words or threats. Research strongly links suicide with cyberbullying.

Turn to someone next to you and explain the 3 categories of technology dangers in your own words. Allow time for parents to discuss.

One other danger that can happen in any of the categories is internet addiction. Just like illicit drugs or alcohol, people can get addicted to the internet because it feeds their desire for power, acceptance and material things. This is called problematic internet use and stops internet users from interacting with the people and physical world around them, which affects their ability to build relationships and resolve conflict.

Caregiver Connection

10 minutes

This is a lot of information, isn’t it? In the Bible story about the Tower of Babel, God made a dramatic decision and created many languages in the world to protect people from creating unusually destructive things. We might wish to have such an easy solution to the dangers of digital technology. As caregivers protecting our children from dangerous technology use, we are not equipped to make such significant choices. And, technology has many positive aspects. God will help us develop wisdom and create guard rails for our children as they use technology.

Even so, with technology changing so fast, it’s tempting to feel overwhelmed and afraid.

• When you are afraid, do you make good decisions? Usually not.
• How do you feel when you are afraid but have to make a decision? Accept all answers.

Let’s look at an example of what we might feel like when we are overwhelmed and afraid. Bring out the large tub and place it so all parents can see it. Ask for a volunteer to come forward.

Hold the bag over the tub. Tell them you will pour water in the bag. Direct them to stop any water from getting out. Start pouring water from the pitcher into the bag. The water should leak from so many places that the volunteer cannot stop the water.

It’s too much! There are too many holes, and the water can’t be stopped. The only result is ___________ (volunteer’s name) got wet! This is what it’s like when we try to make decisions out of fear. Our attention goes to reacting quickly, instead of responding thoughtfully. We do not have good results.

• Instead, knowing that water will come out, what can you do instead? How could we protect someone and the surroundings from getting wet? Accept all ideas, even if they are silly.

In the same way, we cannot stop technology. But we can learn about it and make plans so our families are protected. Doing nothing because you are unsure of what action to take is an unwise response. Instead, you can:

• Recognize that evil exists
• Talk about your concerns with others
• Invite your children into your concerns instead of just telling them no (this helps them make better decisions later, on their own)
• Love instead of scare

Lead the parents in a short activity where they individually dramatize the 4 italicized words. For example, a person might use their fingers to create eye glasses over their eyes to represent how we can “recognize” that evil exists. This activity will help them remember these 4 helpful mindsets later. As whole group, have the participants act out each word; then have them find a partner and demonstrate them for one another.

There is a higher prevalence of problematic internet use for those who use the internet frequently. Research proves that problematic internet use often results from parents simply not talking about internet usage or asking questions of their children. As you can see, a simple solution is to have regular conversations with your children about internet usage. When you do this in a natural style, children are more receptive. Ask them what they are learning, what they enjoy the most. This will lead you to also ask if they have experienced anything that makes them uncomfortable. You can offer to help if they share their concerns.

Think back to the story about Karvind.

• Did his parents talk to him about his internet use? No.

So far, you have learned that one of the best ways to protect your family against the dangers of social media is to acknowledge it and have conversations about it. Another important fact is that Karvind’s family ignored him. Many children turn to social media for acceptance, but a simple solution is a safe, loving home that protects their children from internet dangers.

We can test this. Find a partner. Give time. If possible, it might be best for couples to work together. However, if two caregivers are not present, have them form pairs in the best way for your context.

In each pair, choose 1 person to speak. Give a few moments for the pairs to choose. Look at your partner. Repeat after me:

1. Others judge you. Pause.
2. You make mistakes. Pause.
3. You live in a very dangerous world. Pause.

• For the people who heard these words spoken to them, how do these statements make you feel? What thoughts came to mind? What did you feel in your body? What do you believe about yourself based on these words? Give plenty of time for people to respond. These statements are technically true, and yet are said in a very negative way. Listen for people to share about how it makes them feel in their mind, body and heart. For example, they might say that they are thinking about being embarrassed. They feel tightness in their chest. They believe that they are worse than other people.

When we are told things about ourselves in a negative way, we often turn to shame and embarrassment. Rarely, if ever, does negativity help us improve.

Now I want the same speaker to repeat after me to their same partner:

1. I am so glad you were born, because you are unique. Pause.
2. You keep trying, even when things are difficult. Pause.
3. You work hard to protect your family. Pause.

• Again, for the people who did not speak, how do these statements make you feel? What thoughts came to mind? What did you feel in your body? What do you believe about yourself based on these words? Give plenty of time for people to respond. These statements are positive. Listen for people to share about how it makes them feel in their mind, body and heart. For example, they might say that they are thinking about how they work hard. They feel openness in their bodies. They believe that they are growing.

When we are told positive things about ourselves, we often want to try even harder. Knowing that someone loves us and wants the best for us often helps us improve even more.

Imagine how this could work in your family. You could choose to tell your child about all the mistakes they are making with technology and how danger surrounds them. Or, you could tell them the positive aspects you observe in them and have conversations about what to do about potential dangers. Let me repeat: providing a safe, loving home can be one of the best protections you give your children against internet dangers.

Application/Activity

15 minutes

You have learned to talk to your children about internet use and how loving them at home can protect them from internet dangers. Next you will discuss some other practical ideas in small groups. I will give each group a way to help keep children safe in a digital world.

1. In your group you will discuss some practical ways you could accomplish this in your home. This is a time to help each other with ideas.
2. After you have discussed for about 5 minutes, you will share some of your ideas with the whole group.
3. Answer any questions, then direct the parents to move into groups of 5-6, making sure that at least one person in each group can read well. Use your best judgement for directing them into groups. It might be helpful here to separate parents from the same household because they will learn double the ideas.
4. Some might not have access to internet in their homes, but it is still a good practice to discuss practical ideas together as a small group.
5. Pass out the following ideas; one to each group:

• Have open talks with your children without shame and blame.
• Create healthy time limits for internet usage.
• Set a good example by not using the internet or technology too much.
• Encourage children to participate in extracurricular activities instead of internet use.
• Choose helpful questions to ask your children about their internet use.
• Get help with setting up good passwords and learning more information. (In the whole group discussion, emphasize that the project staff can give assistance with this.)
• Speak with love, not fear.

As groups are discussing, move around the room, listening to their ideas. If any group is struggling with reading the idea, read it for the small group and make sure everyone understands.

After 5-7 minutes, call the groups back together. Collect the discussion topics. One at a time, read the topic and ask the group who discussed it to share 1 practical idea for implementing this action at home. Write the ideas on the board. As time allows, ask groups to share more ideas.

Reflection

4 minutes

Think about the beginning of the lesson, when we discussed a tree growing in the middle of your house. It happened because you didn’t know what to do and ignored it…until it became an intrusion! God likes to help us acknowledge such difficult problems in life, especially because he desires to help us. I am going to read some questions, and I want you to take a moment to answer these questions silently in your mind and heart.

• What is something you are tempted to ignore in your life because you are unsure what to do? Wait for at least 1 minute in silence.
• Who do you need to talk to about it? What kind of conversations do you need to have? Wait for 1 minute while parents reflect.
• How would God like to help you deal with this problem? Wait for 1 minute while parents reflect.

Closing

1 minute

In the story today, Karvind became involved in evil in a digital world. Much of this came about because his parents were not having conversations with him about his internet usage, nor did he feel loved and accepted.

As parents, we cannot possibly know everything our children do and think. But we can be involved in their lives. By having regular conversations with honest questions, our children will feel supported and loved. They will know who to ask for help if they need it. One of your most powerful tools as a parent is to listen to your children. And even if you don’t know the answers, you can find other trusted people to help you.

• What are ways you can encourage your children so they feel listened to and loved? Accept all answers such as telling them when you notice they are working hard at something, telling them specific ways they improve your family, talking about happy memories in your family, etc.

Actions to keep children safe

• Have open talks with your children without shame and blame .
• Create healthy time limits for internet usage.
• Set a good example by not using the internet or technology too much.
• Encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities instead of internet use.
• Choose helpful questions to ask your children about their internet use.
• Get help with setting up good passwords and learning more information.
• Speak with love, not fear.

Global Child Protection Parenting Curriculum